Don't Overthink It.

"Hey ya'll what does everyone think about having a straight blog like through Wix or Wordpress vs. Substack? Like I cannot get into Substack. I feel very confused in there, but it seems that everyone is using it. HELP!"

Looking back at that desperate late-night plea I sent out to my writing group, a few things stand out: 1) my overuse of the word "like"(at this big age, it's a bit embarrassing) and 2) who is everyone? Kindly, one of them replied. While she did provide me with a good, lengthy response, at the crux of the message was this---"don't overthink it".

Wow, she definitely doesn't know how timely those words are. At work and in my personal life. For someone who often spends countless moments wasted on overthinking, this messaged resonated. The same way I can spend all my money on food or makeup or clothes is the same way I can spend hours consumed on the overthink. This can be on anything or everything---from social situations and interactions to the words on this page. If I was able to collect all the minutes wasted on overthinking, I would be rich.

Admittedly, this is not my first blog. I created my first blog in 2011. Back then, I was enrolled in a PR and Corporate Communications post graduate program and as a part of that program, you had to take a social media course to get a better understanding of how to communicate on the web, build a brand, and engage with audiences via social media channels. I had a really cool image, but I don't think I wrote anything on it.

At the same time, I also created an Instagram account, but I have changed that a few times as well. A few years later, I created another blog, but didn't maintain it. A few entries here and there about my daughter, music, friendships, but then I abandoned it. Life happens yes, but truthfully, excuses were made and procrastination ensued. What do I have to say? Why should anyone care?

Now, I'm sure this wouldn't be an impediment if overthinking was associated with positive thinking. I mean, how can positive thinking hinder you? "Everything is going great. You're a superstar. You are going to smash that presentation. A book? Of course you can write a book!" If I had Jay-Z's mentality, (specifically the 'U Don't Know' Jay, from The Blueprint album---and so many others) this wouldn't be a blog post and I would probably be two years deep in a thriving blog.

But the problem, unfortunately, with ruminating is that intrusive thoughts can take over and determine how you move through the world. More often than not, I believe I have allowed these thoughts to decide how I am with friends, family, and strangers. Should I do this? What about this? What if this happens? How will this play out?

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) says that intrusive, obsessive thoughts are actually associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and that OCD "is an anxiety disorder that affects about one in 40 adults. Surprisingly, OCD exists throughout the world and affects men and women at an equal rate. As well, approximately two thirds of people with OCD develop the disorder in adolescence or early adulthood. A few causes and risk factors can be genetic, biological, or psychological." (Source: CAMH website) The sabotage machine takes no days off. Until now.

About two months ago, one of my sister's best friends passed away from cancer. They have known each since university and despite being countries away, maintained a strong bond. She was 41 years old and no one was warmer or more joyful than Shelley. Every time I had an encounter with her, I felt like she was just so excited to see me. She didn't think about how she was going to say hello. She would just grab you with excitement. She didn't over think. She lived. She loved. Unshrinking. Brazen. Bold. And that sentiment was echoed at her funeral. She made people feel special when she was around.

I say that to say this. If you overthink, find ways to minimize the time wasting...immediately. Mediate. Pray. Find a therapist. It is a continuous struggle and there is constant self talk involved, yes, but do not waste a moment. Some people will like you. Some people won't. Some will enjoy your work and some will hate on you. Don't allow those thoughts or outside voices dictate what your heart is telling you to do. Love big. Give out hugs. Tell people you love them. Spend time. Put your big girl panties on.

Think about it...what will be your legacy? What will the people who really know you or love you say about how you made them feel? (Insert Maya Angelou quote) What impact will you make with this life you have been given? My advice to you and to myself is to not let the voice of doubt overshadow your (my) dreams for yourself (myself) and the legacy you (I) want to leave behind. You are that girl. I hate to say it, and I am not promoting any sneaker brands, but don't overthink it, just do it.

"Mama ain't raised no fool / Put me anywhere on God's green earth / I'll triple my worth, motherfucker / I will not lose ......I, hahaha, will not lose, ever"

XO,

Sherine